The Two-Peace Manual

There are definitely TWO PEACES to this puzzle. 

1. Inner Peace and Outer Peace. 

2. Peter Gould and John Ungerleider, the two teachers of IPOP at Brandeis University. 

Peter says "Take charge of your inner life first. Speak and act from a place of inner strength and calm."

John  says:  "Be sensitive to everyone's needs. In any intervention, choose compassion first." 

Read chapter one of our reader to learn what we mean by inner and outer peace 

CLOWN DHARMA:  Oh, Hmmm, Aha, Voila!!

The Clown Dharma is a structured system for solving problems. It works! YOU can follow this way of looking at problems for the rest of your life.

1. There is a problem.  Oh!
2. Every problem has a solution.  Hmmm.
3. You can figure out the solution.  Aha! 
4. You can DO the solution.  Voila!

If you follow this teaching, you'll be the Best Problem Solver ever. But be careful: sometimes your solution, your Voila, could cause a new, unexpected problem! (We call that Whooooops!) 

Whoooopses happen. But that's okay, because now we know how to solve problems. 

Not ready to try it out yet? For a deeper dive, link to the clown dharma essay in the reader.  

BY THE WAY, Peter Gould has copyrighted the Clown Dharma© teaching! Feel free to use it, but don't claim it as your own. And yes, it comes from Buddhism's Four Noble Truths. 

Six Steps for Men to Prevent Domestic Violence   By Bill Pelz-Walsh and John Ungerleider

(You can also use these six steps to help you to watch out for these behaviors near you.)

We're emerging from a time of social distancing and isolation, with an increased risk of domestic violence. Women and children are most vulnerable. In order to change, men have to want to stop being hurtful towards others.

1. Know your emotional triggers: What feelings are below your anger? Are you overwhelmed, disrespected, entitled, insecure, ashamed,..?
2. Notice the warning signs: such as stress, increased heart rate, negative thoughts, raised voice.
3. S.T.O.P.  Stop - Take a deep breath - consider my Options - Proceed. It helps to practice this regularly.
4. Take a time out: The problem may not change, but how you deal with it can. Replace negative thoughts with gratitude for what you do have. 
5. Self-care: Eat well, exercise, talk with a trusted friend or a therapist for guidance. Don’t abuse substances.
6. Be accountable: Apologize if you said or did something hurtful. Recommit to doing better and acting with integrity. 

As we strengthen our capacity to regulate our emotions, we have the opportunity to build on our capacity to trust, respect and empathize.  

This list can be helpful to anyone. It can help you to observe, counsel, and prevent aggressive behavior that may be about to happen.

                                                                                  There's an essay in our reader. 

Sensitizing Responses to Conflict: T'ai Ch'i Basic Moves.

The eight basic moves of T'ai Ch'i Chuan can get us up and moving, and help us to physicalize our usual response to conflict. 

The eight moves come in four pairs: 

1. Heaven and Earth;   {Ward Off, Roll Back)
2. Fire and Water;    {Push, Press)
3. Thunder and Wind;  {Pull Down, Split}
4. Lake and Mountain.  {Elbow, Shoulder Stroke}  

Each move has a unique quality and intent.  Ward Off is strong and untiring, expanding as Heaven, like the air inflating a ball. Roll Back is soft and yielding as Earth, not opposing, moving to neutralize force aimed at it.  Press is soft outside, yet dangerous, like Water wearing away rock.  Push clings like Fire, aggressive while acutely sensitive.  Pull Down stuns the opponent, like a sudden Wind plucking fruit.  Split is dangerous and abrupt, roaring like Thunder.  Elbow disguises great power, hidden beneath the surface of a Lake. Shoulder puts up an obstacle like a Mountain, displaying the force of the whole body.

Count to Ten (Anger Management the way you learned it in kindergarten)

You take a deep breath. You count to ten slowly on your fingers. You breathe in and breathe out as many times as you need to. Take a whole minute if you can.

And by the way, you just did!

Did what?

You counted to ten! Here we are. Ten.

Oh.

And ten doesn't have to BE ten, 

You can begin again! By remembering that you can be that ONE grain of sand.